Do you allow yourself to get curious?
I first heard this word in terms of asking questions when I started my Life Coaching diploma four years ago. We were learning all about the importance of asking clients powerful questions. A sound piece of advice that resonated with me, was to do with curiosity. Now if you know me well, you know that I love talking and connecting with people and sharing ‘me’ stories. However coaching is all about you – the client. Finally I had found a wellness model that enhanced self responsibility. To stop giving advice, sharing my own story and honing my listening skills, I was told to start getting curious with clients. Start scratching around and uncover what lies underneath the superficial conversation.
Since then curiosity and I have been having a fun time. My midlife journey has given me the opportunity to dig around in my own mess. I have had to put on my gumboots and get really dirty and start searching into what I really was made off, under all the skills of mothering that came so natural to me. The rewarding part of this is I have discovered all sorts of gems and now love sharing them with my community.
Enough about me though, I am more excited about telling you how being curious can open up many possibilities for you as a midlife woman. “At midlife whether you like it or not the drum of midlife beats on. If you don’t allow yourself to answer the call then life will continue to throw challenges until you do. Either that or you begin to shrivel into less than what you may be.” Powerful words from my dear friend Juliet Batten. Her book ‘Growing into Wisdom’ is very potent. You will know you are smack in the middle of midlife because you start asking yourself questions. You can’t help but question yourself when mortality comes knocking at your door. At midlife you start thinking about dying, your body has signs of stiff joints, hair greying, eyes failing and wrinkles that may or may not please you. Parents or even contemporaries may have died. Time feels like it is running out so you begin to really want to make the most of everyday.
This is where curiosity comes knocking at your door. Curiosity means to get inquisitive, start asking questions and begin to search. Being conscious has allowed you to open your eyes and become aware that you want to change, you have some space to finally put yourself first after a life time of being all things to all people. Curiosity is the next step and it allows you to start thinking of possibilities of becoming the person you want to be, and exploring and experiencing what you have to do to get there. You may not even know exactly what is your next step so don’t worry you aren’t alone. Being curious is about allowing yourself to dream, to gather evidence that it is time to begin a new story. You may decide to be the leading lady, you may be happy sitting in the audience or collecting tickets at the door. The trouble is you are not going to know what you choose until you try things out. It is time to allow yourself to wonder, what did you love doing as a child? What gave you pleasure? What made you laugh and get lost in an activity? Being curious helps you to form a plan, a way of moving forward so you can get back on track.
Start asking questions, open ended questions that start with If? Why? What? How? and Who? Who could I be? What is it that I want? How have I done things well in the past? If I was to open up to the possibility of changing my role, what could I do? Why is that so important to me? Start getting curious if you notice some inner whispers, someone suggests something and it instantly lights you up, Why? You walk past a dance studio and start remembering how you used to love to dance. When did you stop? A great question to ask is what did you love to read as a child? This will give you some information to start getting curious.
Curiosity is your friend and an essential stepping stone on your midlife journey. Start making a plan and start turning that dream into a reality. There are various activities you can do to help you answer your questions, start a dream board, start writing your thoughts down, read blogs, go to workshops, listen to podcasts. Information is abundant so use Ms Goggle. Lastly get a coach or mentor. As a midlife coach I would love to guide you to get curious around how midlife could be exciting and empowering for you. I am an expert at formulating powerful questions that can get movement and energy happening – and ultimately take you to place of feeling that you have focus and clarity in your life. Having choices to create your next chapter in what ever way feels right for you is what midlife is about. Pop over to my website and book a time to start a conversation with me. www.midlifecourage.co.nz
I have lots of stepping stones that I have formulated after coaching midlife women like yourself, trust me you don’t have to be on this journey alone. Please join my Facebook page to follow or the tricks and tips to help you navigate midlife. www.facebook.com/midlifecourage
“What does it profit a woman to give everything of herself and yet so little to herself.” Thanks Kaye for this lovely quote.