I want to thank you all for coming along on the 7 week ride exploring midlife issues around the acronym C.O.U.R.A.G.E. I had so much fun and my aim of meeting more of you on my Facebook Business page was successful. I now am going to start another chapter (you never know I might have a book in me!) on the Stepping Stones of Midlife. These are areas that I have seen women trip themselves up, pick themselves up and go forward courageously around some Midlife changes. Keep the interaction coming, it is so reassuring to know I am not completely writing to myself every week.
The first stepping stone is being Conscious. In every workshop, seminar and retreat I facilitate I always ask the women to be aware around “notice what you notice? “Please try and take one thing away with you, one aha moment, one gem or one far out moment. The easiest way to do this is by noticing what you notice? If you can answer that question at the end of the event then I am so grateful.”
This will help you to become aware and to become conscious of where you are at. Until this is established it is pretty difficult to know where you want to go. Being conscious means it is a time of acknowledging that something isn’t feeling right for you and you want to change. Easier said than done I know because as humans we love certainty and change often throws us into a place of confusion, overwhelm and fear. What this means is often things have to get quite bad before you are committed and willing to change. Another layer to this is you may fall into three traps that I have started to identify with clients. Firstly you simply don’t have the knowledge-you don’t know what you don’t know. Secondly you maybe attached to your pain. You know what you could do however for many reasons you don’t. The last one is avoidance, keeping busy, drinking and eating are big avoids in society today. Becoming conscious leads to awareness and awareness leads to choice!!! How exciting to know we have choices at midlife. Life is like a blank canvas and finally it is your time to begin to paint what ever picture you want!
By getting conscious you can start with growing your awareness of where you are at right now and what you bring with you good and bad. The experiences you have had make you into the person you are today. Starting to claim wisdom as one of my midlife values has been one of the biggest gains I have had on this crazy midlife ride. Start with asking yourself some questions that will give you clarity and focus to help guide you to waking to the awareness of who you are as a midlife woman. Powerful questions around What do you want to change? What do you want to be doing now moving forward and Who do you want to become? The answers are often hard to come up with initially however be kind with yourself and give yourself some time and space.
Today I was at the gym and I heard the owner talk with a client about her birthday tomorrow, she was going to be 49. She shared that she cannot believe that she is nearly 50. She then went on to use a couple of sentences that I swear were straight from my lecture notes. “When I turned forty I thought 40 and 40 equal 80, not so bad I still could have potentially 40 years left but now I am nearly turning 50 hmmm 50 and 50 are 100 and chances are I am not going to be around then.” Now you know me, when the client left I couldn’t wait to open up a conversation with the gym owner. I asked her what had made her more conscious, more aware at midlife. I was then privileged to hear some of her story.
When she was turning 40 it was time to renew her ten yearly passport. As she flicked through the pages there were many overseas stamps. I thought I was going to hear about all her exciting travels. Far from it, all the stamps were for Melbourne except one which was to the GC. I was still intrigued. Regular trips to Melbourne, a city I love and adore, didn’t sound too bad. Not to be the case for her, all those trip were work related. It occurred to her that she had just worked ten years of her life away. At the same time she was watching one of the first episodes of Dr Phil and he asked an important question “what do you get excited about every day?”( Don’t you love how these serendipity moments start appearing at the right time.) “Nothing” was her answer, “I get excited about nothing, my days are all the same I am operating on auto. After this realization she left her job and gave herself sometime to reflect and reassess her life. After five months of reflection she moved to Matakana where her brother and wife had brought a property. They were off overseas and needed a house sitter. While establishing herself in a new area she bravely joined the local gym. I say bravely because she was 124 kilos and stepping into the gym was so courageous. However, it was a life saving for her. Fast forward to now and this women has a lot to be grateful for. She went down to 80 kilos, she ended up buying the gym and she trained as a Les Mills gym instructor. Wow are you impressed, I certainly was and this is such a remarkable story of a midlife women who became conscious and aware and went out and changed her life to one of choice around how she wanted to live her life.
There are many things you can do to become conscious around how you want to live your next chapter. I will continue to share my knowledge and expertise with you with my weekly blogs and on my Facebook business page. If you haven’t joined the page then click on www.facebook.com/midlifecourage. If you have can I ask you a favour and can you please spread the word to all your midlife friends to join my page to help my next aim to get to 1000 likes. I would so appreciate this.
Lastly if there is anyway I can coach you to become more conscious then you can either sign up for some one on one coaching or have a fast track three day retreat with me and some other supportive women held at a five star lodge. Go to my website and learn about both these offers. www.midlifecourage.co.nz
Lastly, to all the wonderful New Zealand mums have a peaceful and relaxing Mother’s Day on Sunday.