I love how there are so many wonderful quotes that we now get to see on social media. Positive affirmations are flying at me as I scroll through Facebook and Instagram and every time I read them I just get a little twinkle inside of me and my smile grows bigger. Midlife quotes give me courage and hope that I can keep doing what I am doing. Over time I have discovered the people I chose to follow because of their potent words. I am sure you have your favourites too and I hope you have the same response that I get and the quotes make you seem a little braver, more focused, motivated and your smile brightens not only your day but those around you too.
This week one of my favourite inspirational people posted some quotes to do with mid life. I thought they were very relevant and she had captured the process of midlife in an honest and raw way. This is what Brene Brown does well, she finds the courage to research the topics that we tend to avoid. The topics that leave us feeling uncomfortable and perhaps a little too close to our feelings. Brene is a researcher professor and is well known for spending two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy. Her talk on vulnerability is in the top ten viewed TED talks and I am sure her TED talk on shame would be close behind it if we weren’t too scared and persist on keeping shame in the dark corner where silence and secrecy lives. If you haven’t listened to her talks and read her books then I encourage you too – they are a game changer, well they certainly were for me.
I have a love/like relationship with courage hence the name of my business and as a midlife woman I dig deep into courage nearly everyday. I coach courageous women and I am uber impressed with the courage it takes from these women to speak their truths. Brene quotes “Courage is contagious. Every time we choose courage, we make everyone around us a little better and the world a little braver.” Don’t you love it?
Another quote of hers which I think relates even more to my coaching midlife women reads “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” My clients do often painfully but courageously own their story and then they begin the wonderful process of writing a new story that serves them better as a midlife woman. I am so grateful to all of you who have trusted me to hear all your stories.
It seems as Brene Brown goes through her own midlife story she has come up with some quotes that I saw on Instagram on the weekend that touched me deeply so I shared them online and now I share them with you. They aren’t pretty however as I earlier mentioned Brene doesn’t do pretty she does real and raw. Remember though girls, that if you take your midlife story on, you will be richly rewarded in so many fabulous ways.
Midlife is not about the fear of death. Midlife is death. Tearing down the walls that we spent our entire life building is death. Like it or not, at some point during midlife, you’re going down, and after that there are only two choices: staying down or enduring rebirth.
It’s a painful irony that the very thing that may have kept us safe growing up ultimately gets in the way of our becoming the parents, partners and/or people that we want to be.
Midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you closer and whispers in your ear I’m not screwing around. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanism that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go. Your armour is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armour could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you are still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.
I told you she delivered with a punch. I can’t help agree though with her words, however know this – the work you do at midlife (if you have the courage) is worth it. The magic happens when you learn to live outside your comfort zone. You will be happier and healthier and have a hell of a lot of genuine fun on the way. You will feel joy, success and incredible love for yourself. This has been my experience and the experience of many of my clients.
Another mentor and inspirational woman for me has been Joan Anderson. You have heard me talk of her and my admiration for this woman. It is my privilege to bring her movie to Warkworth for my local woman to watch. I will also share briefly why I went half way across the world to hug this Goddess. Joan is a writer and the way she describes her midlife journey is softer around the edges than Brene Brown however still relatable. You can find the details for the movie night HERE.
I finish with a quote Joan shares from her movie A Year By The Sea.
Spending a weekend by the sea has made me realise that I’ve grown tired of swimming against the current only to arrive at unnatural destinations….Here surrounded by nature, I am able to shed the unessential….To be playful like the seals…..All the while learning from the ocean to be more flexible and fluid. I once read that the very act of seeking sets things in motion. Instinct brought me here and I can feel it…. Rising up inside me like a wave, growing stronger in mind and body. No longer do I decide to manipulate my life. Instead I’m welcoming intuition and vulnerability, thoughtfulness and surprise…..No one has taken these attributes away from me….I’ve simply let go of them myself. Now I can sense the tide turning and embrace it.
May you all be courageous enough to be who you were meant to be and trust that YOU and your midlife journey with the extremes of the current are unique to you.