This was a question a women put on the Midlife Conversations closed FB group. The response was huge and it seems many of you – myself included – are worried about entering the outside world again.
Firstly, before I explore this more fully I would like to thank Kaye for reaching out to the group – this takes courage – and you know, I always adore courageous women. Her actions meant she felt safe to do this which was one of my aims in starting a CLOSED group and secondly her actions ticked another aim of the group around supporting collaboration.
It is OK if you are feeling worried, anxious, vulnerable and afraid. After weeks of feeling safe and protected it is time to open your door wide to the outside world. A world that needs you more than ever, a world that has enjoyed some healing and is now wondering what comes next!
If this is your truth – it is OK – this will pass!
There were some overall themes with the responses among midlife women and yes some were to do with having to wear a bra again, limiting chocolate intake, and turning down the Netflix button.
For most of the women the words spoken were around enjoying the quietness, the calm, and the peace. A reminder of values that are easily forgotten in the loud and hectic day to day living. Caring and kindness were another theme. Caring for our neighbours, sharing greetings on the street and everyone seemed to be smiling more.
Without the hustle and bustle there was time to listen not only to the increase in bird talk but our own inner whispers – to stop and have more time to really listen – did you like what your heard?
Pivoting, ZOOM and 1pm Jacinda time were some of our new norms.
For many of us we have teenagers and young adults so the worry factor was decreased. Were you alerted to the knot in your tummy that has become the norm with parenting. The roads were quiet, less drinking and all the other things they do. We know – we were there once.
Some of you mentioned about transitioning your children back to school reality – the kids enjoyed the home schooling life and as parents adjusted they also saw the anxiety lessen with their darlings and mostly enjoyed the slower pace.
Families loved coming together around the table – rituals that had been lost were dusted off and used again, playing games, listening to music, watching movies together, walks – lots of walks, getting creative whether this was knitting, gardening, bread making or jig saw angst. We all commented on how Mother Earth needed this rest – let’s hope she has begun to heal.
It all sounds lovely and for many of you it was, however I also want to take a pause to remember there are people suffering especially around lack of income, worrying about health and hygiene, not being able to say goodbye to a loved one, no grandkiddy hugs, continuous gaming pursuits that drove parents crazy and trying to balance baby and toddler life without support. These realities are real and easy to forget if this is not your world.
Lockdown has been HUGE and how you integrate back into the world is also huge.
Some say we will never return to the way things were – a blessing in my book – things were not working however I need to get clear on what I can choose to do in my new normal. How can I do my part to make sure in six months I can celebrate the new balance that CV19 has given me.
- What will the new normal look like?
- What will it feel like?
- How will it sound?
- What was working before?
- What wasn’t working before?
- What can be done differently?
I am concerned that life will become crazy or even crazier. Lockdown was crazy however we have survived it – our goal to eliminate Covid 19 is in reach – we are resilient and yet we are creatures of habit.
There are so many theories about how life may now unfold – including authority and political issues – this in itself is another worry.
I have loved being witness to the many inspiring podcasts that have been released over lockdown. Newly written and their authors were about to start touring when lockdown happened. These books and podcast have a theme – simply put – it is time for women to be seen and heard in a way they have not been before. How exciting is this?
For me I am choosing love not fear and a question that a friend introduced me to last night that I plan to use moving forward is “what would love do in this situation?” The new normal for me has to be a world with more love, kindness, caring and connection. This does not mean it will be easy however when I come from a place of gratitude and love the world seems gentler and kinder.
I will start with being kind and gentle with ME – I invite you to do the same. You deserve self love, self care and self nurturing. Put yourself first or first equal and remember NO is a complete sentence. It is time to stop the shoulding all over yourself and start the loving all over you.
It is time to embrace you.
I would love for you to join me on a ZOOM next week where we continue the conversation of how we can empower ourselves as we enter the new world.
All details will be on my Midlife Courageous Conversation Closed FB group. Here is the link to join – come on over to the light side.
Lastly I am sad that seven of you and myself won’t be flying out to Bali on the 22nd May however I am happy that 9 women are joining me on the 24th May for a local Bali Bliss Adventure day where we will have fun sharing how we can have more pleasure, play and purpose in our life.
If you want to come please contact me on 0211456432 to go on the waiting list. I will also be doing another one in June. For now remember to breath and know you have got this.