I am blown away by the following statistics. Humans have anywhere from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Some research says as many as 98% of them are exactly the same as we had the day before. Talk about creatures of habit. Even more significant, 80% of our thoughts are negative.
We are wired to think negative thoughts – this comes back to thousands of years ago when things were scarce especially food and when the men went out to hunt they were scared of being killed by tigers etc. We come from a scared and scarcity mentality, we are also creatures of habit – we like to know what is in front of us and we struggle with change.
So for all my clients who come to me and say they want to stop the negative thoughts – let me tell you that that is not going to happen, what can happen though and what I coach my clients through is; you can learn to turn down the volume on those thoughts and increase the volume on the positive thoughts. Actually, I don’t like using negative and positive so I am going to call them dark and light, contracted and expansive thoughts. I also refer to the terms, Inner Critic and Inner Coach and you would’ve heard me use these terms in my previous blogs. Negative thoughts aren’t really negative they are there to keep us safe – unfortunately they are ineffective.
I have had an awesome month however my Inner Critic who I call Doris Dump has been having a huge tantrum and has been dumping on me big time. The reason is, I have been stepping up and putting my profile out into the world in a much bigger way than I previously have. Any time we do anything scary the volume is turned up on those dark thoughts. In the last six weeks I have featured on radio, TV and now in the latest Women’s Weekly and believe me this comes with a huge lot of dark thoughts. When I saw the size of the photo of me in the Women’s Weekly my first reaction was “oh shit!” not “oh wow!” I have also been going for a massive rank with the essential oils and this has really given Doris a playground to have tantrums.
However the flipside has been I have witnessed how I have definitely grown in terms of my mindset. I let Doris have her tantrums and then I lovingly told her to be quiet, and if that didn’t work I told her to shut up, and if that didn’t work I resorted to using some very foul language to put her in her place. Thank goodness I have only had to resort to the later a couple of times. The more I think in an expansive way the happier I feel and my life flows in a way that I have never experienced before. The bottom line is I love myself enormously. “Hush Doris I am allowed to write that because it is true.” I know I am kind, warm and have a beautiful heart. Believe it or not Doris is giving me the thumbs up – now that is what I call progress!
The biggest block I see in all my clients is they do not believe they are enough. Does this resonate for you? I don’t feel lovable enough, smart enough, attractive enough, successful enough or interesting enough and when you don’t feel enough you try to change things externally and what I have learnt is loving yourself is an inside job. The thing that will send you lasting love is to know that you’re lovable. Say this over and over again because you will begin to believe anything that you keep telling your mind repeatedly. People who succeed tell themselves I can do this. Success is not about never failing it’s about how quickly you get back up again.
If this is resonating with you then I suggest for the next 21 days, start some new habits. They say it takes 21 days to BEGIN to change a habit so give my suggestions a go and see what happens. There is no quick solution, however what I can promise you is that over time as your thoughts become more expansive you will notice enormous changes in your life. Start each day by saying “I like myself. I love myself. I’m a good person because… “ Write “I’m lovable” on your mirror, particularly in your bathroom. This will mean you will see it first thing in the morning and last thing at night which is very powerful for changing your mindset. Put “I am lovable” on your screensaver, put it on your alerts, record the words on your phone and play them back to yourself when you are in the car. Find a song that says how lovable you are. Surround yourself in lovable thought. Say I’m lovable out loud – believe me when you feel loved, you have a magnetism that makes people want to know you and love you.
I would love to know how you get on with this. Observe what happens from afar, watch the sabotaging thoughts that try to pull you into a contracted mindset, laugh, give thanks and go back to your “I am loveable” expansive thoughts. The brain will eventually believe you – trust me.
Lastly the bootcamp has been put on hold because the accommodation has fallen through. I will contact those of you who inquired about the bootcamp over the next couple of days. It is still happening however I need to come up with a new venue and I am looking at some over the next week. Keep emailing me if you want to be included in my bootcamp weekends.